I cannot believe it has been four years since I was diagnosed with post polio syndrome! When I was first diagnosed I would listen to the soundtrack from Wicked on my CD player. I now have it downloaded into my iPod and am now the proud owner of an iPhone. I've never been a gadget girl but I must admit, I am enjoying these gadgets. They're fun and so is life. Yes, my life is fun - the girl who was tormented and taunted and teased and abused and all the rest! I will be 57 years old in just a few weeks (Christmas day if you are interested -- oh do you want to know what I want for my birthday? A donation to Tom's Miles for Miracle run - but as usual I digress) and as Tony Robbins has said, "It is never too late to have a happy childhood."
Dancing - something I gave up on when I was 5 years old until -- my dear friend Linda Mitchell gave me a journal called, "I Hope You'll Dance" based on the song by Lee Ann Womack. Visualizing, meditating, meeting so many healing angels along the way have brought me to where I am today! I am running a sub 15 minute/mile on my training runs but as my friends Doug and Ashley remind me, it's not about the time it's about the miracle of healing.
One of the ways that I am healing my life (and it is an ongoing journey) is to dance through life. When I start to stress, when the pain from the past tries to yank me away from my connection to God I a) have a good deep cry and lance the boil of the soul; b) pray; c) talk with my husband who knows all and is so wise; d)remember how I am loved and I am God's beloved; and e) run, run, run!
The upcoming holidays kicked up a whole lota stuff this year. We have lost our beloved cat Alex, our son is off doing his own thing and somehow that wound of holidays past got opened. Perhaps it is because of the work I am doing with Eric of BMA for in truth, my body cannot be healed unless I dig deep and do the soul work (as I mentioned in my previous blog post). It was a very painful meltdown two nights ago but thank God for God, my husband of 32 years who knows me inside and out and for loving friends to pull me through. It was as though all of the pain came flooding back - almost like what happened with the phantom pain from my polio only on the soul level. I felt as though I had lanced a boil and the toxic energy drained.
One year ago, going out for a run was not possible. Today it was cold and there was a stiff headwind but that would not deter me from getting out for my scheduled run. I had no expectations of time because of the weather. I celebrated the fact that I did not have to get on my recumbent bike and had the luxury of going out for a run. I was so surprised at how warm the sun was. I had not mapped out a route prior to my run. I knew I was going to run for 50 minutes and would see how far I went after the run. Since the sun was warm, I chose to run down Boylston Street, Route 9 which would keep me in the sun. Route 9 heading toward Boston is a downhill. What goes down must go up but I wasn't thinking about that as I listened to my iPod, celebrated the day and ran for 25 minutes. I noted where I had run to, turned around and headed back.
There was a stiff headwind and I was going uphill. I was not concerned about time and knew I needed to tune into my body. My lungs began to burn and I remembered Doug's blog post about pushing himself but I also wanted to be smart about this. I decided to take it down a notch and power walk. It didn't matter if this run was a 15, 16 or even 17 minute mile. I was getting a good cardio workout, I was soaking up the Vitamin D and I was embracing and braving the elements once again! I was also in harmony with my body.
When I came home and mapped my run I was so surprised with the results. I had run 3.4 in 50 minutes for another sub 15 min mile pace! (14:42 to be exact). Average heart rate was 152 with a peak of 175. Beyond the numbers - I felt as though I am dancing through life. I am running, I am playing, I am having fun, I am doing 'the work' and I am so grateful for every blessed moment - the pain, the joy, the sadness, the happiness -- it all weaves into a beautiful tapestry of my life.
Take time to dance through life!
God bless, be well and live like you were dyin'
From my heart to yours with love,